Let it be known throughout the land that January 28th is International No Emoticon Day!
Why no emoticons for just one day? Because the poor buggers are being over used, over worked and over used! They’re tired and they want a break. They told me this in the shower this morning when this brilliant idea popped into my head. It all harkens back to my childhood. One day, when I was five or six, my Grandma came over to bake cookies with me. She was a kind, loving soul and what she said that day has stuck with me. She said:
“Peter, don’t use emoticons.”
That’s what she said. She then giggled a sly, unassuming giggle as she placed a tray full of cutout reindeer into the oven. And it stuck with me for four reasons:
- What the heck is an emoticon?
- How did my Grandma know about them in the 1970s?
- Why did Grandma claim she didn’t hear the buzzer then always take the burnt cookies out of the oven with a smile on her face?
- Whatever, ASCII art rulz!!
Yes, Grandma’s lesson was lost on me at the time. Even though my Commodore 64 was perfectly capable of :) and :-/, I lived in a whole other world (it was called the woods, we had them around our house at the time and you played IN them).
But now, my heart is moved by those stern words (and an odd fear of cookie cutters). Don’t use emoticons.
So be it! Will you rise to the challenge? It’s just one day. One day to try to express how you’re feeling in words instead of cute little pictures. One day to give your : key, which was happy being the least used key on the keyboard until 10 years ago, a break. Stand with me, or by my, or somewhat close the area code I live in, for on January 28th, from now until, well, next year when I forget it’s already January 28th and we change the date….where was I?
FREEDOM!!!! (from :( and :~P)
If you need a more concrete reason to learn how to communicate without emoticons, consider this plausible real life scenario: You turn the corner and are face to face with Bigfoot. You want to express your utter shock and dislike for the current situation to him, but he doesn’t understand emoticons no matter how fast you type on your iPhone. He only understands the laws of the forest and the mountains (maybe he’s a yeti in your version). No Sasquatch or Yeti will enjoy being told :0. He’ll likely rip you to pieces. All because you forgot how to use your words to express strong emotions.
Don’t be dismembered by a Sasquatch. Use your words.