Do what you love…..and share it with your child

“I LOVE offroad driving, Daddy!” These words, spoken by my then three year old daughter, were the sweetest thing I could hear at that moment. That moment was the first time we were turning off the pavement for a three day weekend of off-highway camping in central Washington State. My daughter had been on a couple of simple forest service roads before and she seemed to like it just fine. But this moment still had me nervous.

I already knew my wife at the time, Kim, enjoyed camping and adventuring off the main roads but would Sabrina, our daughter, take to it as well. My anxiety was heightened by the fact that I enjoy offroading, or 4x4ing, immensely and want to share it with my family, making the experience far more enjoyable than doing it alone. Plus I know from my own experiences as a child that the memories created doing things together as a family last a life time. But would Sabrina enjoy it? She already complained about spending a long amount of time in the truck and I worried bouncing and flopping around in the rear seat would push her over the edge. Would I be resigned, as some dads are, to hitting the trail alone to enjoy their passion when their family wasn’t willing to tag along?

All those worries vanished with the gleeful outburst from the backseat when our tires hit the dirt path. A broad grin lit across my face and I shot my wife a smile that amply conveyed the joy of knowing we were going to have a fun family weekend. This wasn’t going to be a “Daddy drug us across dirt roads for three days and made us sleep in a dirty tent,” type of trip. This was going to be enjoyable time together. A family adventure.

I’ve thought back to that moment, and many more like it, as I’m now faced with quitting my current job as a senior systems administrator for an internet company downtown. I really like computers and working with them. It’s been a very enjoyable job and I have been compensated well for the past nine years. But I’m not doing what I’m really passionate about and I fell I’m teaching my daughter to do what she feels passionate about in life. Sure, at her current age six she’s passionate about playing and reading and watching movies. Activities not normally associated with a stable adult income. But now more than ever, it’s important for me to follow my own advice and start doing what I love. I received a mug from my Mom for Christmas with the Life is Good^® logo on it and the phrase “Do what you like, like what you do”. I have recently mentally appended that with “and share it with your child”. (Yes, Mom, I’m blaming you for making me quit my stable day job :) )

Children learn from their parents. A LOT. More so than most ever realize. Sometimes you see it daily and sometimes it sneaks up on you with perhaps a phrase you didn’t even know was heard being repeated at the most inopportune moment. Your children are watching you and learning how to live, how to love and how to interact with the world around them. How you decide to live your life has a direct effect on how your child starts to view the world and what they do with their time on this planet.

It may seem obvious at first, but a lot of parents still don’t follow the simple example of including their children in what they love doing best. Granted, sometimes it is difficult to include them, but even having them along to watch as you do something beyond their current aptitude will create a sense of bonding and involvement.

Kim and I decided early on we were going to include our daughter in as much activity as we could, especially since we have different hobbies and passions (and some overlap as well). Sabrina went on her first day hike with us when she was three months old. She went on her first plane flight when she was four months old, traveling all the way across the continent. Before her first year was over she had been overnight backpacking as well.

We’ve continued this pattern as much as possible as she has grown older, but it is not always easy. When she started walking, the hikes became much shorter and MUCH slower. At first this was annoying until we learned to slow down to her pace and not always focus on getting where we were going. Sometimes stopping and looking at a cool tree or leaf or bug with her provided more reward than simply getting to the beach or lake or what have you. She was also teaching us to stop and appreciate all that is around us. View the world with new eyes. It took me a while to learn this lesson and be happy where we were with her development. There will be time later when she will run ahead of me for a mile or more when she’s eight, or climb faster or take better pictures. So until those times come, I’m also learning to enjoy now for what it is, a gift.

It was three years in the making to get to that point many years ago when we took our first family off highway camping trip (with two dogs in tow as well). It has been three years since and she’s still trying new things, imitating her Mom and Dad. She practices yoga, baking and dancing with Kim. She helps me with work on the truck and literally climbs the walls in the house. She likes taking photographs as photography is a passion for both Kim and I. She’s been read to since before she was born and is now starting to read her own chapter books, well ahead of most in her class.

Getting children to this point takes a while but it is easier than you may think. This is due in part to the fact that children are huge knowledge sponges. They want to learn and for the most part, love it. They probably spend the bulk of their time around you and learning from you. To that end, here are some suggestions for cultivating the learning spirit in your child:

• Include them. Even if it’s cleaning out the lint screen on the dryer.

• Explain things you take for granted. Sure, you know how the lint got there, but she might not. Grasp situations as they arise and drop the unimportant things to help them learn.

• Ask questions to learn what they know. Don’t just ask yes and no question, but instead ask, “Where do you think the lint came from? Why did it come from there?”

• Learn together. While your child naturally thinks you know everything (at least for a few years), showing them how to find information is a lesson that lasts a life time.

• Encourage them to ask questions. Make yourself available as much as you can be to answer questions and admit when you don’t know (see the last point about learning together).

• Expose them to new experiences. Have a look through the ‘What’s Happening’ section of your newspaper and pick an activity you’ve both never done before. It’s a sure way to gain a lot of questions and you both end up learning something new.

• Let they try. Most of us learn by trying and not watching. The old adage ‘Learn one, do one, teach one’ applies here as well. You can have them teach your spouse what they just learned, thus making it sink in deeper.

• Let them fail. It’s sometimes the hardest thing for a parent to do, but kids need to fail sometimes to learn the most. Be there to show support and help if needed, but see what happens when things don’t go as planned. You may be surprised.

• Read to them, every day. This one is so simple. Get them interested in characters and stories and plots and using their imagination. Show them the power of books and always make them available. Libraries are free, get your child acquainted with yours.

With encouragement and involvement, your child’s will to learn will grow as they do. Your direct invinvolvement is, I believe, the single largest contributor to how eager your child is to learn about the world around them and to engage it. Do your best not to miss an opportunity to help them grow. If this means changing your work schedule around to spend more time at home when they are around after school, then do it. Maybe heading into work an hour later so you can have a family breakfast on weekdays would work. I’m finding it’s not easy as we begin planning our finances with a period of uncertain income ahead of us. But little and big steps towards spending more quality family time together will be its own reward now and when your child is grown and moved away.